The Fat Man Diaries Day 6 (04/17/10)

Let me just get everything out in the open. I cheated on my diet again last night, and I cheated today. The truth is, I'll probably be cheating quite often. I don't want to. I don't like doing it, but my willpower is weak. That's why I weighed in at 304.2 lbs. I'm still down for the week, but It could be better. It should be better. I know I can do this because I've done something similar before. On January 1st, 2006 I quit drinking sodas. I remember because that was the same year that Howard Stern first broadcast his show on Sirius Satellite Radio. As remarkable as it was for me to completely quit drinking sodas, it wasn't easy. That was my third attempt at quitting. The previous 2 tries were noble efforts, but they ultimately failed for one reason or another. I would be on the wagon (so to speak), and that little bit of temptation would creep in. Before I knew it I was on a bender. Big Red soda and Dr. Pepper were my 2 weaknesses. I loved making ice cream floats with Big Red. There was something so delicious and inviting about it. I still get the cravings from time to time, but I know how hard it was for me to finally quit. I don't want to throw that all away. Sometimes I'll catch that bubbly sweet smell of Dr. Pepper and I'll think, "I'll just have a little taste," or, "1 Dr. Pepper isn't going to kill you." That's probably true, but I don't want to take the risk of being a slave to sodas again. It was quite and accomplishment for me when I finally kicked that habit. Between that and moderate exercise, I was able to lose about 15 to 20 lbs.

Here's the difference with fast food. When I get thirsty I can easily grab some water instead of a soda. It's already there. But with food, it's not quite that easy. I know I could get a salad or some "healthy" alternative to a burger at a fast food restaurant, but what's the point. When I bite into that juicy, cheesy burger, something happens to me. Some kind of euphoria. I can't explain it, but I have great pleasure in eating tasty food. I really sound like an addict. Maybe people can become food addicts. I heard a news story on The Howard Stern show about how people are addicted to certain kinds of food. At first I thought it was b.s., but as they continued to talk about it, it started to make sense. They compared fatty foods to cocaine addiction. Here's the article if you'd like to read more about it.

Enough of my excuses. I worked out today, and I worked hard. My thighs kept feeling like they were going to cramp up on me. My shoulders are killing me. I could really use a massage. On top of all that, I bruised the heck out of my left shin kicking the bag today. I guess it's better than a black eye. Despite all my aches and pains I actually feel pretty good. Yeah I'm sore as hell, but I feel like I'm making progress. I know I'll be setback this weekend by bad eating, but I'll make more progress next week. I'll say that in less than 2 weeks I'll be under the 300 lb mark. That will really spark my motivation. To see a 2 as the first number in my weight will actually make me happy. Now if I could only make those last 2 be as low. My big concern through this challenge is figuring out what to do on Sundays. My gym is closed on Sundays so I can't go there to workout. It's good in a way because it forces me to be more responsible for my own exercise and weight loss. I'll probably do something light because I'm so damn tired. If the weather is good enough, I might even hit the pool. I can't swim very well (at all), but I can get a pretty decent workout in the pool. If not that, I'll probably go for a jog. I'll find something. Wish me luck because I really need it.