The Fat Man Diaries Day 10 (04/21/10)

Got up this morning and weighed 305.6 lbs. Slow and steady wins the race. You know what else helps you win? Not stopping at Burger King every night after work. I was on the phone with my buddy Huy, and he warned me not to go. He tried to help me, and I flat out refused to listen. It's not his fault; I was already pulling into the drive-thru. So thank you, Huy, for your effort. Please don't give up on me because I know I'll conquer this addiction sooner or later. In fact I want to make an announcement. Last night was the last night I'm going to have fast food...for the rest of the week. It will actually be longer than that, but I can at least make it through the rest of the week (or should I say weak?). While I'm talking about cheating on my diet, let me put this out on front street: I'm going to lunch today with my friend Abbey. When she invited me last week I agreed to go only if we could go someplace that had healthy food. When she asked me yesterday where I wanted to go I suggested Carino's. Anyone who knows Carino's knows that it has delicious Italian cuisine, but it's not exactly the place you go when you're trying to lose weight. I'm going to enjoy my lunch with Abbey, and it probably won't suit my diet.

It's like when I used to practice Vipassana meditation. We would sit with our legs crossed for long periods of time while we meditated. Reverend Viet (the abbot of the Buu Mon Buddhist temple in Port Arthur, TX) told us that we would feel pain in certain body parts. He warned us not to concentrate on the pain. He said to just acknowledge the pain, and move on. It was difficult at first, but he was right. You couldn't ignore the pain because you would inevitably start concentrating on it, and then it would begin to hurt more. By acknowledging the pain we accepted that it was there, but we wouldn't let it become the focus of our meditation. Our goal was to calm our minds and relax. Once we accepted that we might have to deal with some pain to reach our goals, it made it easier for us to reach that goal. I draw a similar parallel with what I'm doing here. My goals are to lose weight and get healthy. I acknowledge that I have cheated on my diet (and probably will cheat again in the future), and accept that it has interfered with me reaching my goals. The cheating is not going to become the focus of this challenge. Now that I've accepted that, I will move on and reach my goals.

For those who are curious, I did workout today. Class isn't getting any easier, but I really feel that I'm handling them better since I've been going every day. Not that I am any stronger or anything like that. There have been many times in the past when I'd wake up in time to go to the gym, but then I'd sit around my apartment and do nothing. But since I've been forcing myself to go every day, I feel like it's getting easier to go. Today I could definitely tell that I was slowing down a lot in class, but I was there. I was sweating; my muscles were burning. I felt pretty good actually. It's a class filled mostly with women, but I feel so manly when I finish it. The only sort of regret I had today was when Marcio Laselva invited me to take the Jiu-Jitsu class. I couldn't take it because I'm having lunch with my friend Abbey. Speaking of, I need to jump in the shower because I stink like a beast.