The Fat Man Diaries Day 3 (04/14/10)

Whoooo, this is getting harder. Before I get into that, I want to apologize for the shortness of yesterday's post. I had an eye exam that took time away from this blog. So I'll try to get more in depth with today's post.

So here I am -- Day 3. I'm still alive so that's good. I woke up this morning and weighed 305.4 lbs. I guess the water weight is gone, and now the real work begins for my weight loss. I remember the first time I got on the scale and it was 299 and some change. I was so excited to finally be below the 300 mark. I swore I'd never be 300 again. But here I am dealing with another broken promise to myself. I know I can do this because I've done it before. I just have to be patient and stay the course. It's not easy with all these temptations around me. Oscar Wilde put it best when he said, "I can resist anything but temptation." That's how I felt during my rough patch when I gained most of this weight back. Hmm..."weight back,"...sounds a little to close to "wetback." This Mexican ain't no wetback, but lately I have been a sweatback.

For most people 3 days of working out in a row is no big deal. It used to not be a big deal for me either, but today I woke up with some soreness. I've had worse, but nothing makes you feel like an old man more than when you have to grunt to get out of bed. I need to change my whole mentality. If I don't act like an old man, maybe I won't feel like an old man. If you lead the body, the mind will follow. If you lead the mind, the body will follow. So I need to change the way I think and act. Instead of dreading my morning workout class, I should start looking forward to them. Instead of thinking I'm on a diet, I should accept that this is going to become my way of life. My eating regimen doesn't end at the end of this 8 week challenge; it will become a normal diet. That's not to say that I'll never be able to have all those great tasting foods that are just terrible for you. I'll just have to have them in moderation. What about alcohol? That shouldn't be a problem for me either. It's fun to unwind with your friends from time to time, but I've given that up before, and I know I can do that again. In fact, that's easier for me to give up than the bad food. The fact is I've abused food far more than I've abused alcohol, and now I have to make up for that abuse. This is my punishment...my penance.

Chris had us doing some pretty intense things in class today. Some of it was actually pretty fun, but man did I sweat. There was a point when I was beating up a punching bag on the ground, and the sweat was just pouring off my face. I love the bag work we do in class. I don't have the heavy handed punch you would expect from a guy my size, but I still enjoy hitting the bags. I consider it a combination of anger management and stress relief. It makes my shoulders and back burn. It makes me gasp for air. It makes me sweat. I love it.

I work out at a gym that trains actual fighters. It's intimidating and inspiring all at the same time. I see these disciplined guys come in all the time and train hard. Then I look at my fatass and wonder, "What the hell am I doing here?" I'm trying to be like them. None of them got to where they are without hard work and discipline. That's almost the exact opposite of my old mantra of, "Do just enough to get by." I've met a lot of the instructors and fighters, and none of them have a discouraging word to say. I'll even go out on a limb and say the fighters are some of the nicest guys I've ever met. They all know how hard it is to stay fit, and they want everyone there to succeed. I'm lucky to be in an environment like that. If I fail, it's all my fault. Everyone at Laselva MMA is doing what they can to help me succeed. It's up to me to reach my goals.