Woke up to 303.2 lbs this morning. I'm not stressing it at this point. I'm exercising regularly, and I can feel some changes in my body. I'm still having the appetite problem, and that's why there hasn't been any weight loss today. Yesterday was the first time I had 3 full meals all week. The only problem was that they consisted of frozen pizza and Chinese food. For some reason the junk food doesn't give me any nausea, and I have no problem getting that food down my gullet. I'll mix it up a little today between some good and bad foods and see where I land.
I feel like this blog is getting redundant with my day to day activities. I was tired again when I woke up this morning. I considered staying in bed, but thank God I've made a commitment for at least the next 5 weeks. I was late to class, but it was ok because I was the only in class today. Most people don't like this because they feel like Chris is going to be harder on them. I don't mind it because I feel like Chris can concentrate more on me, and adjust the class to what I need. That's pretty much what he did today too. It was mostly cardio today, so I was breathing like a pervert after class. I swear I lose at least 2 lbs of water during each class. It makes for a very sexy looking, sweaty, fat man.
Like many people, I often doubt myself. Some days are great, and I'm on top of the world. Other days I wonder if I'm wasting my time with this whole challenge. It's those times that I need a reminder as to what I'm working toward. I don't expect to look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney or whoever the latest Hollywood heartthrob is. I do expect to lose weight and get healthy. I expect to stay that way too. It's during those difficult times that we all need the most help; that's when we need some sort of inspiration. Here's a song I hear at the gym a lot, and it does kind of motivate me. Maybe it will help you too: Kanye West - Stronger.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The Fat Man Diaries Day 18 (04/29/10)
302.4 lbs today. It would have been lower if I hadn't stopped by Burger King again last night. It was on purpose again because I still haven't had any hunger pangs. Until I went to BK, I had and apple, a banana, and an orange to sustain me for the whole day. I probably could've made it through the night with that, but I was scared. I jokingly wondered to myself if this was some elaborate ruse by my body to continue eating junk food. After I ate the orange last night, I felt a little nauseous. It wasn't anything major, but it felt like the orange was trying to decide whether it wanted to stay down or come back up. I thought that I was getting sick and that it was finally manifesting itself, but after a while, I felt fine again. It's looking like I'll have a doctor's appointment sometime next week, but I'm still waiting to see what the weekend brings.
My sore tricep and rib muscles are feeling much better. They aren't 100% yet, but they're feeling better than I expected. My hurt hand is better today too; although, it's not 100% either. I wrapped it extra tight today just to be safe, and now I'm wondering if I've been wrapping my hands tight enough this whole time. That might be how I hurt myself in the first place. It's a thin line you have to walk when you wrap your hands for punching. If it's too tight, you'll cut off the circulation, and you could potentially cause damage from that. If it's too loose, you could hurt yourself by not having enough support on your hands and wrists. I think I'll go over this with Chris to make sure I'm doing it right. I've been in class long enough to where I should know what I'm doing by now. Speaking of, I think I finally figured out how to kick correctly. My kicks aren't so high on my shins anymore. They are still on the shin but closer to the ankle. I felt like I was getting good power and keeping my balance today when I kicked the bag. I can feel the soreness near my ankle now, but I'm not bruised. I think I'm actually getting better at this.
Today's inspiration comes from another Rocky movie. I love the Rocky film series, and I can find endless inspiration in those movies. Here's a motivational speech from Rocky Balboa (part 6). Check it out here.
My sore tricep and rib muscles are feeling much better. They aren't 100% yet, but they're feeling better than I expected. My hurt hand is better today too; although, it's not 100% either. I wrapped it extra tight today just to be safe, and now I'm wondering if I've been wrapping my hands tight enough this whole time. That might be how I hurt myself in the first place. It's a thin line you have to walk when you wrap your hands for punching. If it's too tight, you'll cut off the circulation, and you could potentially cause damage from that. If it's too loose, you could hurt yourself by not having enough support on your hands and wrists. I think I'll go over this with Chris to make sure I'm doing it right. I've been in class long enough to where I should know what I'm doing by now. Speaking of, I think I finally figured out how to kick correctly. My kicks aren't so high on my shins anymore. They are still on the shin but closer to the ankle. I felt like I was getting good power and keeping my balance today when I kicked the bag. I can feel the soreness near my ankle now, but I'm not bruised. I think I'm actually getting better at this.
Today's inspiration comes from another Rocky movie. I love the Rocky film series, and I can find endless inspiration in those movies. Here's a motivational speech from Rocky Balboa (part 6). Check it out here.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The Fat Man Diaries Day 17 (04/28/10)
It's still hard waking up in the morning; I weighed in at 303.2 lbs. The lack of sleep and weight gain was my fault though. Monday and Tuesday I never really had an appetite, and I was getting concerned about it. I decided to purposely cheat on my diet as a sort of experiment. Now those 2 days I pretty much had to force down breakfast and lunch. The meals weren't bad meals, but they weren't the kind of foods I'd get excited about. I thought I'd try some Burger King since I kind of get excited about their food. I wasn't really hungry last night, but I haven't been hungry for 2 days. I ordered some food and came home and ate it. Everything tasted good, and while I wasn't really hungry, I didn't feel like I had to force anything down. I was happy about that, and I was hoping that my appetite would be back today. It's about 12:30 p.m. and all I've had to eat so far is a Fuji apple. My mom told me I had this problem when I was a kid. I wouldn't eat because I wasn't hungry. The doctor said I was fine and that I would eat when I got hungry. A little piece of me is hoping that's what's going on now. Way back then I was a skinny little kid with a big head, but now I'm a really fat man with a big head. We'll see what happens, and if things don't go back to normal, I'm going to have to visit my doctor.
Today's class was one of those classes that I hate to love (or love to hate -- not sure). We did our usual warm-up, and then we went a few rounds on the punching bags. My right hand has been having some pain for about a week or so, and today it got worse. I think I might have hurt my right wrist when I landed a hook on the punching bag. When my hand is at a normal resting position, it feels fine, but if it's turned to land a hook, i feel the pain on the outer part of my wrist and hand. That's the new pain; the old pain is at the base of my hand near the wrist. It's pretty much the area between the 2nd and 3rd metacarpals. That worries me because many fighters who don't know how to punch often break their metacarpals. I don't want to compare myself to real fighters or even say that I have a particularly hard punch, but the fact of the matter is that I've been punching a hell of a lot more lately than ever. If I see the doctor about my appetite, I'll be sure to ask about my hand too. Here's the love/hate or hate/love part of class. Chris set up a circuit for us to go through after the bag work. I hate this because it's so hard; each exercise becomes more difficult than the last. I love this because it's so hard; each exercise becomes more difficult than the last. As if this wasn't difficult enough, Chris had us do ab exercises after every 2 stations in the circuit. I was gasping for air by the time we finished. As exhausted as I am when I finish each class, I feel equally great. This is what I'd like to be addicted to rather than junk food. After class I stopped by a couple of stores and picked up a bunch of fruit. I plan on snacking on those until my appetite fully returns.
Today's class was one of those classes that I hate to love (or love to hate -- not sure). We did our usual warm-up, and then we went a few rounds on the punching bags. My right hand has been having some pain for about a week or so, and today it got worse. I think I might have hurt my right wrist when I landed a hook on the punching bag. When my hand is at a normal resting position, it feels fine, but if it's turned to land a hook, i feel the pain on the outer part of my wrist and hand. That's the new pain; the old pain is at the base of my hand near the wrist. It's pretty much the area between the 2nd and 3rd metacarpals. That worries me because many fighters who don't know how to punch often break their metacarpals. I don't want to compare myself to real fighters or even say that I have a particularly hard punch, but the fact of the matter is that I've been punching a hell of a lot more lately than ever. If I see the doctor about my appetite, I'll be sure to ask about my hand too. Here's the love/hate or hate/love part of class. Chris set up a circuit for us to go through after the bag work. I hate this because it's so hard; each exercise becomes more difficult than the last. I love this because it's so hard; each exercise becomes more difficult than the last. As if this wasn't difficult enough, Chris had us do ab exercises after every 2 stations in the circuit. I was gasping for air by the time we finished. As exhausted as I am when I finish each class, I feel equally great. This is what I'd like to be addicted to rather than junk food. After class I stopped by a couple of stores and picked up a bunch of fruit. I plan on snacking on those until my appetite fully returns.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The Fat Man Diaries Day 16 (04/27/10)
If yesterday started off on a peak, today began in the valley. This was the first time in a long time that I really considered staying in bed. My alarm had gone off, and I really didn't like the song that was playing. I had to skip about 4 or 5 songs until I got to one that motivated me to get out of bed. I got up and took care of my morning ablutions, and I used this time to return a call to my brother. Oddly enough he was taking care of his ablutions as well. My morning started to turn around a little when I weighed in at 302.4 lbs. I figure I'll be below 300 lbs by Friday. I'm thinking that I should set my goals for every 20 lbs, but it may be more encouraging to go 10 lbs at a time. We'll worry about that later. I'm still working on breaking under 300 lbs.
I was still pretty groggy when I got to the gym this morning. I was a couple of minutes early, but I was so slow at getting ready, I actually missed the first couple of rounds of jump rope. When we did the bag work today, I really wasn't giving it my all. Even with this conservation, I ran out of steam really fast. At one point we had to do pull-ups. If you remember a few sentences back, I said I weigh 302 lbs. Pull-ups aren't exactly on my list of things that I do well. Chris said to just try and hang from the top for as long as I could. I think my best hang time was almost 3 nanoseconds. I tried several times to no avail. We finished the class by doing 4 sets of 50 reps of ab/back exercises. I had some problems doing that because I think I pulled some muscles trying to do the pull-ups. My left tricep and the muscle on the left side and back part of my ribs -- I'm not sure what they're called, but they hurt like the dickens when I was doing my ab exercises. They feel a little better now, but I'm afraid they are going to hurt badly tomorrow morning. As long as it's just soreness and not a major injury, then I'll be able to work through it. A little Tiger Balm and I'll be good to go.
Before I go for today, I want to talk about a curious phenomenon that I experienced yesterday. I took my normal fitness class and a Jiu-Jitsu class yesterday. When I got home, oddly enough I wasn't hungry. I didn't eat breakfast until about 1 p.m. I wasn't even hungry when I ate; I just ate so that I wouldn't get hungry at an inopportune time. I didn't snack on anything all day, and then when I had lunch at work at 7 p.m., I wasn't hungry then either. I forced down some food because I had to eat something. It's now about noon, and I'm about to eat breakfast. I'm a little hungrier than I was yesterday, but I'm still not as hungry as I think I should be. I'll probably have to do some research (yeah Google) and see what's going on here. I'm a little concerned. I'm sure I'll be fine though.
Today's inspiration: Eminem - Lose Yourself.
I was still pretty groggy when I got to the gym this morning. I was a couple of minutes early, but I was so slow at getting ready, I actually missed the first couple of rounds of jump rope. When we did the bag work today, I really wasn't giving it my all. Even with this conservation, I ran out of steam really fast. At one point we had to do pull-ups. If you remember a few sentences back, I said I weigh 302 lbs. Pull-ups aren't exactly on my list of things that I do well. Chris said to just try and hang from the top for as long as I could. I think my best hang time was almost 3 nanoseconds. I tried several times to no avail. We finished the class by doing 4 sets of 50 reps of ab/back exercises. I had some problems doing that because I think I pulled some muscles trying to do the pull-ups. My left tricep and the muscle on the left side and back part of my ribs -- I'm not sure what they're called, but they hurt like the dickens when I was doing my ab exercises. They feel a little better now, but I'm afraid they are going to hurt badly tomorrow morning. As long as it's just soreness and not a major injury, then I'll be able to work through it. A little Tiger Balm and I'll be good to go.
Before I go for today, I want to talk about a curious phenomenon that I experienced yesterday. I took my normal fitness class and a Jiu-Jitsu class yesterday. When I got home, oddly enough I wasn't hungry. I didn't eat breakfast until about 1 p.m. I wasn't even hungry when I ate; I just ate so that I wouldn't get hungry at an inopportune time. I didn't snack on anything all day, and then when I had lunch at work at 7 p.m., I wasn't hungry then either. I forced down some food because I had to eat something. It's now about noon, and I'm about to eat breakfast. I'm a little hungrier than I was yesterday, but I'm still not as hungry as I think I should be. I'll probably have to do some research (yeah Google) and see what's going on here. I'm a little concerned. I'm sure I'll be fine though.
Today's inspiration: Eminem - Lose Yourself.
Monday, April 26, 2010
The Fat Man Diaries Day 15 (04/26/10)
Today was the kind of day I needed. After missing my weigh in yesterday I was afraid to weigh myself today. I didn't have a particularly bad weekend, but it wasn't the greatest. There was some fast food and some boozing going on, and I was expecting the worst this morning. Well to my surprise I was down to 304.6 lbs. I'm definitely on track to break the glass floor of 300 lbs this week. Once I get below that, I'm staying below it.
I made it to class on time, and there were only a couple of other people there today. I prefer a smaller class for some reason. Maybe I'm just selfish. Chris gave us a pretty good workout today, and by the end of class I was tired and sweaty as usual. While I was doing my post workout stretch, Marcio Laselva invited me to take his Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class again. My first instinct was to respectfully decline. I was really tired from Chris' class, but I really wanted to try Jiu-Jitsu. Against my better judgment, I respectfully accepted. I've sort of tried this class once before, but it was so long ago that I really don't count it. I only spent about 15 minutes in the class the first time around, but this time I intended to take the whole class. There was another guy who was trying it for the first time too, and Marcio teamed me up with him. We were going to practice armbars. Anyone who knows anything about Jiu-Jitsu knows that the armbar is a staple of this particular art of fighting, and it's a great submission hold. I was really excited to learn how to do it, and I was surprised to see how calculated the whole process was. I should have known better, but the guys on tv make it look so fast and easy. It took me a little while to get the moves down -- mostly because of my weight. My heft impeded some of my movements, and I was trying not to hurt the other guy. He wasn't putting forth the same effort for me. He didn't hurt me, but he wasn't going slow enough to ensure not hurting me. When I approach any class at my gym, I do it with ultimate humility. I'm there to learn and to lose weight. This new guy thought he knew some stuff, and said that if I wasn't so heavy, he'd be able to get out of my hold. Part of me wanted to teach him a lesson, but I knew it wasn't my place. I'm not skilled in this martial art, and so I just kept my cool. Luckily Marcio overheard this and called over another student. The guy he called over is only 130 lbs. He's much smaller than the guy I was practicing with. Marcio told the smaller guy to put the new guy in an armbar, and guess what? The new guy couldn't get out of it. He tried several times to escape, but each time he had to tap out. I was satisfied that he had learned his lesson. He and I went back to practicing, and guess what? The idiot didn't learn his lesson. Marcio let us practice for a little while longer, and then we watched the other guys roll for the last half of class. Despite having to deal with an overzealous newbie, I really enjoyed the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class. I would like to continue taking the class, but I still can't afford it at this time. I'm still waiting for that sponsor to come through.
All in all, I'm feeling really great right now. I'm excited at the major possibility of getting below 300 lbs this week. I had a good morning of exercise. The only thing that can kill my buzz is work. I have a couple of hours til then, so I need to try and squeeze in a little meditation and breakfast.
I made it to class on time, and there were only a couple of other people there today. I prefer a smaller class for some reason. Maybe I'm just selfish. Chris gave us a pretty good workout today, and by the end of class I was tired and sweaty as usual. While I was doing my post workout stretch, Marcio Laselva invited me to take his Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class again. My first instinct was to respectfully decline. I was really tired from Chris' class, but I really wanted to try Jiu-Jitsu. Against my better judgment, I respectfully accepted. I've sort of tried this class once before, but it was so long ago that I really don't count it. I only spent about 15 minutes in the class the first time around, but this time I intended to take the whole class. There was another guy who was trying it for the first time too, and Marcio teamed me up with him. We were going to practice armbars. Anyone who knows anything about Jiu-Jitsu knows that the armbar is a staple of this particular art of fighting, and it's a great submission hold. I was really excited to learn how to do it, and I was surprised to see how calculated the whole process was. I should have known better, but the guys on tv make it look so fast and easy. It took me a little while to get the moves down -- mostly because of my weight. My heft impeded some of my movements, and I was trying not to hurt the other guy. He wasn't putting forth the same effort for me. He didn't hurt me, but he wasn't going slow enough to ensure not hurting me. When I approach any class at my gym, I do it with ultimate humility. I'm there to learn and to lose weight. This new guy thought he knew some stuff, and said that if I wasn't so heavy, he'd be able to get out of my hold. Part of me wanted to teach him a lesson, but I knew it wasn't my place. I'm not skilled in this martial art, and so I just kept my cool. Luckily Marcio overheard this and called over another student. The guy he called over is only 130 lbs. He's much smaller than the guy I was practicing with. Marcio told the smaller guy to put the new guy in an armbar, and guess what? The new guy couldn't get out of it. He tried several times to escape, but each time he had to tap out. I was satisfied that he had learned his lesson. He and I went back to practicing, and guess what? The idiot didn't learn his lesson. Marcio let us practice for a little while longer, and then we watched the other guys roll for the last half of class. Despite having to deal with an overzealous newbie, I really enjoyed the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class. I would like to continue taking the class, but I still can't afford it at this time. I'm still waiting for that sponsor to come through.
All in all, I'm feeling really great right now. I'm excited at the major possibility of getting below 300 lbs this week. I had a good morning of exercise. The only thing that can kill my buzz is work. I have a couple of hours til then, so I need to try and squeeze in a little meditation and breakfast.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Fat Man Diaries Day 14 (04/25/10)
I forgot to weigh myself today, and anything taken during the day would be too inaccurate to count. I woke up really late today because I didn't crawl into bed until about 6a.m. Woke up and barely got ready for church. Let's just say today has seemed like a very long day, and my workout definitely suffered from that. I almost didn't have a workout today, but I can't throw this away so soon. I got some much needed inspiration last night, and I'll be more committed to this challenge than before.
Just like last Sunday, today's workout was pretty light. I did a mix of 200 ab exercises and 100 push-ups along with warm-up and cool down stretches. I didn't exactly get to reflect on my bad diet habits like I had planned to, but I did decide something just now. I remember that meditation had helped me way back in the beginning when I first started losing weight. I think I'll incorporate my meditation practice into this whole training regimen. It's been awhile, but I think it will do me some good.
For anyone who might need some inspiration of their own, here is one of my all time favorite movie scenes. If the music and imagery doesn't inspire you to try harder, I don't know what will. Check out this movie scene.
Just like last Sunday, today's workout was pretty light. I did a mix of 200 ab exercises and 100 push-ups along with warm-up and cool down stretches. I didn't exactly get to reflect on my bad diet habits like I had planned to, but I did decide something just now. I remember that meditation had helped me way back in the beginning when I first started losing weight. I think I'll incorporate my meditation practice into this whole training regimen. It's been awhile, but I think it will do me some good.
For anyone who might need some inspiration of their own, here is one of my all time favorite movie scenes. If the music and imagery doesn't inspire you to try harder, I don't know what will. Check out this movie scene.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
The Fat Man Diaries Day 13 (04/24/10)
Today makes the devil's dozen of days I've been working out. All that hard work adds up to 306.8 lbs. How is this possible? Come on everyone, you know what's going on. All the hard work I'm putting in at the gym is being sabotaged by my poor eating habits. I made a promise earlier this week not to eat fast food for the rest of the week. Guess what? That's right, folks, I lied. Not maliciously mind you; it's a weakness I'm working through right now. I see what it's doing to me, and I don't like it. I hit up Subway yesterday because I was too tired and lazy to make my own lunch, and then I stopped by Burger King after work. I was going to give y'all a line of b.s. about how I didn't eat until after midnight so technically the week was over and the weekend had begun, but I won't insult your intelligence. I broke my promise...plain and simple. The worst part of it was that I wasn't even that hungry last night when I went to Burger King. I was hungry, but I ordered the amount I usually get when I'm really hungry. This challenge is forcing me to take a closer look at my bad habits, and now I can see that it's not necessarily a physical need as much as a psychological one. If I can identify the source of this desire, maybe I can conquer it. This will require further study, and I'll report back all my non-scientific findings.
I went to bed last night with my window open because it felt so good outside, and I wanted to save a little dough on my electric bill. I woke up this morning to the sound of chirping birds. Sounds like a beautiful awakening, right? Normally it probably would be, but the birds wake up about an hour and a half before I normally do. I ignored them for as long as I could, but I couldn't take it. I closed my window, relieved my bladder, and tried to go back to sleep. No luck. I finally acquiesced and got out of bed and stayed up. Despite this early rising, I was late to the gym today, and Chris busted my chops a little about it. He was happy that I had made it everyday for the past 2 weeks, and he asked me if I was going to be there on Monday too (the gym is closed on Sundays). I told him I'd be there, and he told me not to fuck it up. He said once I started seeing results it would motivate me to keep working hard, and I told him my biggest problem was still my diet. He's doing all he can to help me, but my diet isn't his responsibility. It probably didn't help that I got a western burger combo from Spangles right after working out. I was thinking of getting 2 burgers, but after last night I really had to explore the difference between what I wanted and what I needed. Not that I needed a burger at all, but I knew that 1 was enough to fill me up, and eating 2 was just being gluttonous.
I have a lot to do this weekend, and I should be doing stuff right now. I'm so damn tired though. I'll probably jump in the shower, and take a nap. At least then I can I can tackle this weekend with some renewed vigor.
I went to bed last night with my window open because it felt so good outside, and I wanted to save a little dough on my electric bill. I woke up this morning to the sound of chirping birds. Sounds like a beautiful awakening, right? Normally it probably would be, but the birds wake up about an hour and a half before I normally do. I ignored them for as long as I could, but I couldn't take it. I closed my window, relieved my bladder, and tried to go back to sleep. No luck. I finally acquiesced and got out of bed and stayed up. Despite this early rising, I was late to the gym today, and Chris busted my chops a little about it. He was happy that I had made it everyday for the past 2 weeks, and he asked me if I was going to be there on Monday too (the gym is closed on Sundays). I told him I'd be there, and he told me not to fuck it up. He said once I started seeing results it would motivate me to keep working hard, and I told him my biggest problem was still my diet. He's doing all he can to help me, but my diet isn't his responsibility. It probably didn't help that I got a western burger combo from Spangles right after working out. I was thinking of getting 2 burgers, but after last night I really had to explore the difference between what I wanted and what I needed. Not that I needed a burger at all, but I knew that 1 was enough to fill me up, and eating 2 was just being gluttonous.
I have a lot to do this weekend, and I should be doing stuff right now. I'm so damn tired though. I'll probably jump in the shower, and take a nap. At least then I can I can tackle this weekend with some renewed vigor.
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