The Fat Man Diaries Day 27 (05/08/10)

305 lbs this morning. Weight problems have always been an issue in my family. I have 3 aunts, 2 uncles, 1 brother, and 14 cousins. Out of all of them, I can only think of 3 right now who don't have a real problem with their weight. One of them is dead, but before he died, he didn't have a weight problem.

Believe it or not, I was a skinny kid...up until about age 5. Yup, I used to have to wear slim jeans because the regular size was too big for me. At this time I was also in and out of the hospital with health problems. I remember pneumonia being a big one that I dealt with a lot. I'm sure my family was concerned about me; I was a skinny little sickly kid with a big head. Eventually I beat the sickness and got better. During the skinny years, different relatives and relatives of relatives would babysit my while my mom was at work. She told me that I just didn't want to eat. It wasn't a sickness of any kind, I just didn't get hungry. There's only one instance I recall as child when I didn't want to eat. My cousins' grandmother was babysitting a few of my cousins and me. This part is a little fuzzy, but I think she made us peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. It may have been something else, but I just remember being completely grossed out by it. I definitely refused to eat that. Later I tried to sneak into the fridge to make myself a plain peanut butter sandwich. When I opened the jar of peanut butter, it looked old and crusty. I don't know what else was in there, but it wasn't just peanut butter. I didn't eat anything the whole time I was there. Eventually my own grandmother started taking care of me while mom was at work. Like Dickens said, these were the best of times and the worst of times. It was the best because my grandma made some great food. It was the worst because I gained so much weight so quickly that I went straight from slim pants to husky. I completely skipped over the regular size. It's been a battle with my weight ever since. I long for those skinny years, but at the the same time, I haven't had any real health issues since then. Even now I'm surprisingly healthy. That's not an excuse to stay big, but I'm very happy that my weight hasn't begun to cause any major health issues. I know it won't last forever, and that's why I'm doing this challenge.

I love my family very much. They're all in Texas, and I'm here in Kansas. I get to see them once or twice a year. It pains me that I can't see them more often because I always have a great time with them. I think back to all the good times we had and even the bad times too. Every time we get together, good or bad, there seems to be food involved. We're a family that was raised around the table. Good, bad, or ugly, it's a bond we all share. I don't want to break that bond, but I would like to expand it -- move it away from the table. I want my family to know that we can still have those great times, but it doesn't necessarily have to involve food. I've had these conversations with my aunt Monkey (Mary), and she's always tried to encourage me. Whether I wanted to hear it or not, she encouraged me. Her faith in God has given her incredible strength, and she has tried to pass that on to me. I don't know if it's working, but I'm very thankful for her efforts. Thank you, Monkey. Don't give up; I'm not.