The Fat Man Diaries Day 26 (05/07/10)

305.4 lbs today. I'm pretty bummed about that. It's my own fault, I know, but you'd think I'd be able to drop more weight from all the working out. Waking up and working out is getting much harder too. I'm almost halfway through the challenge, and it feels endless. I wake up just to go work out, and then I'm wrecked for the rest of the day. I feel like I have old man aches and pains. The soreness I was able to avoid for the first couple of weeks has reared it's ugly head. It seems like Chris has been stepping up the classes, and I'm feeling all the pain. Today I got to work out with the barbell instead of the much lighter dumbbells. It was hard, but I did feel manly doing it. It was me and 2 other dudes taking turns with the barbell while the rest of the class (all women) used the dumbbells. The only negative is that both the other guys are in really good shape, and I'm a gelatinous blob. But they kept me motivated while lifting. My sore armpits hurt even more now. I need to work on my diet; that's the only thing holding me back.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 25 (05/06/10)

I weighed in at 305 lbs this morning. That's what happens when you go to Burger King the night before. My buddy Huy called me last night and said, "Are you at Burger King?" I said, "No...I'm on my way though." He laughed at me, and we talked for a couple of hours. It's always fun talking to Huy; he's like the little brother I never had. Unfortunately it's not a great idea to go to bed around 2 a.m. when you have to wake up at 8:15 the next morning. Suffice it to say, I was a little late to class today. Chris thought I was going to miss completely, and he was going to be rightfully pissed. But I assured him that when he told me that I didn't want another day 1, he was right. To come this far only to have to start over...I don't know if I'd be willing to give it that extra push again. I know my eating is completely out of whack, but at least I'm exercising every day. That has to have some benefit to my health. That's where I find myself this far into the challenge: exercising and eating like shit. It makes me happy on many levels to stuff my face with delicious food. I can enjoy a salad from time to time, but it pales in comparison to a good old cheeseburger. I have to work on these thoughts because I don't want to be a fat guy the rest of my life. Diabetes, heart problems, high blood pressure, and a multitude of other weight related diseases run rampant through my family. I don't want to be another statistic. I've been very lucky so far, but I know that it's been my youth that has been keeping me healthy. Every day that I wake up, I'm that much older. Pretty soon my youth won't be able to protect me from the inevitable, and that's why I'm doing this challenge. I want to outsmart my genetics; I have to...somehow.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 24 (05/05/10)

302.4 lbs this morning. The accuracy is still questionable in my mind, but I accepted all the others as truth so I might as well go with this one too. I was dead-dog tired last night when I laid down to go to bed. It was one of those sucky nights when I had to toss and turn for awhile before I could fall asleep. I finally did, and it was great. I really, really didn't want to wake up today. When that alarm went off, I was so tempted to just snooze it indefinitely. I know if I did that, it would be the first leak in the dam. I don't want to start any bad habits; I only have 32 days left. I can do it; I know I can. Today is Cinco De Mayo, and I probably should be allowed a day off since I'm Mexcian. I don't think anyone would go for that though.

Today's class was particularly interesting. Chris did something different with the warm-up. Instead of just jumping rope as usual, he had has do 5 push-ups every time we messed up. That may not sound so difficult, but for a guy like me, it ain't easy. Chris also corrected my push-up technique, and it actually made it harder for me. He said it would give my muscles more work to do, and it sure as hell did. My legs are still blown out from whatever we did yesterday and the day before. It didn't help that we did more lunges and other leg intensive exercises. I still have trouble touching my toes today. Not only are my hamstrings sore and tight, but my ass is too. I could really go for a full-body, deep tissue massage. After class Chris asked me about my diet; I had to be honest and give him the bad news. I've been off my diet for days...maybe even weeks now. I'm still dropping weight, but I think it could be more significant if I were eating better. He reminded me again that I'm the only one who is responsible for my diet. Chris can help me with the exercise, but the diet is all up to me. I have 4.5 weeks to get it under control. That should be just enough time.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 23 (05/04/10)

It's not getting any easier, folks. I woke up to a surprising 302.8 lbs, but something tells me that's not accurate. I'll take it though. I had trouble willing myself out of bed again this morning. I guess it didn't help that I stay up til 1:30 last night playing with my new amp and reading about Jack White (he's one of my guitar heroes). I managed to drag myself out of my precious slumber, and I got to class on time today. I don't know exactly what we did yesterday in class, but my legs were blown out. They weren't much better today. My muscles were extremely tight, and I couldn't give them a good stretch. My hamstrings felt like they were going to snap when I tried to touch my toes. Being a fat man, you would expect me not to be able to touch my toes and other such things, but I've remained fairly flexible over the years. Today was the exception. I took it easy on myself again, but Chris still makes you work. It was hard for me to walk out of the gym, but I made it.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 22 (05/03/10)

Seeing as today is May 3rd, I guess that means I didn't win tickets to see Pearl Jam tonight in Kansas City, MO. Oh well, I got to see them last year in Austin. It was a great time. I weighed 304 lbs this morning. Not bad considering the weekend I had. It was hell waking up this morning too; I just wanted more sleep. My alarm went off, and the song just wasn't doing it for me. I had to skip ahead several songs until I found something that got me up and moving. I was slow moving through class too. Today seemed particularly hard. I was talking to Chris today after class, and he was asking me if it was a good class today. I told him it was, and I told him how hard it was for me to get up today. He made a good point to me. He said it would suck if I had to have another day 1. He's right. I've made it for 3 weeks straight, and now I'm starting my 4th week. A few more days and I'll be halfway through this damn challenge. I can't stop now. Speaking of can't stop, I love this Chili Peppers song: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can't stop.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 21 (05/02/10)

Sundays seem to be the day that really takes me out of the game. I forgot to weigh myself again this morning, so I don't have anything accurate to go from. My appetite came back with a vengeance, and I'm pretty happy about that. However, that combined with my lackluster workout today should make for a heavy Monday. I'm not too worried about it. I'm just happy that I'm eating again. When things go out of whack, and I research them on the Internet, scary things can happen. There were all sorts of causes for lack of appetite, and I didn't want to have any of them. They ranged from some sort of infection to low testosterone levels. I don't know any guy who wants to have low testosterone. So now that the appetite's back, I've been sort of celebrating with the unhealthy stuff. This whole weekend was a bust.

I found out yesterday that it was free comic book day (the first Saturday in May), so I set out to get some free comics. It was my first time since high school that I set out to buy comics at a comic book store. It was my first time checking out Wichita's comic shops too. I felt like I stepped into the wayback machine and was transported back to 10th grade. It was a little intimidating to be around people with more geek knowledge than me, but at the same time I felt so tough and manly around these guys. I got my free comics, and I even bought a couple. It was a good time. What made it a great time was the new guitar amp I picked up yesterday. I finally get to play my electric guitar after almost a year of it hanging on the wall. All this took up my time on Saturday, so Saturday's chores got pushed to today. Guess what? I was lazy today too. I didn't do anything. I barely even worked out. I did a handful of girly style push-ups, and some ab exercises. I'm done for tonight. Tomorrow things will be back on track, and I'll be breaking my ass in my fitness class. I need to pay off my debt so I can afford Jiu-Jitsu. I'll work on those numbers.

My buddy, Huy, recommended this song for inspiration. It's a cover of Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror," by James Morrison. It may not pump you up during a workout, but on those days when you feel like giving up, it just might help you hang in there. If nothing else, it's really a great cover. Check it out: James Morrison - Man in the Mirror.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 20 (05/01/10)

I broke even this morning at 303.2 lbs. How could that be? Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is, I think my appetite has finally returned; the bad news is, I've been satiating the hunger with not so great food. This weekend I will transition back to a healthy diet, but I'm going to have to also overhaul this healthy menu. I need to find something that's tasty but also healthy.

Today's fitness class was one of the hardest I've had in a while. I was so tired afterward that it took me a while to get off my ass and move around. I just wanted to sit there for as long as possible so I could catch my breath and rest a little. Chris even had me doing fewer reps than everyone else, and I still got tired. I was planning to stay after class and do some kicking and punching exercises on the punching bags, but as soon as I could walk, I was out of there. The class was packed today, and it was a far cry from yesterday's lonely class. We didn't do anything that Chris hasn't made us do before, but it really drained me. I just want to jump in the shower and sleep for a day or two. In fact, I think I just may.

Working out is great for my health, but it is taking me away from one of my joys in life. I love playing guitar. I'm not very good at it, but it's a passion of mine I've had for years. I just played a few chords, and now my fingertips are hurting. I worked so long to grow callouses on my fingertips, and now they're gone. This is a lesson I have to learn, and I'm sure many others have to learn this too: balance. I have to learn to balance the things in my life that I love. I can't do one thing at the expense of another. If anyone has been successful at bringing balance to their life, please feel free to share with the rest of us.