The Fat Man Diaries Day 39 (05/20/10)

Woke up to 298.6 lbs. I'm getting excited about, but I don't want to get my hopes too high. When I'm around 295 or so, then I'll get excited.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 38 (05/19/10)

299.6 lbs this morning. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it isn't some cruel joke orchestrated by my scale. I had to get an oil change today, so I let Chris know that I was going to be late to class. I pretty much did a complete different workout as a result. Chris had me do more weight lifting exercises today. He said if I can see some physical results (like bigger muscles), maybe it would motivate me to keep at it. At least it would be some results I could show off to the ladies; plus muscle helps burn more fat. I'm looking forward to these noticeable results.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 37 (05/18/10)

I need to quit staying up so damn late. Didn't get to bed til about 2 a.m. again. The good news is that I woke up to 301 lbs. I still get nervous that this is my scale teasing me -- getting my hopes up -- just to pull the rug out from under me. I was especially surprised to see that weight since my morning ablutions weren't as productive as usual. I get concerned when that happens too. Maybe tomorrow the old digestive system will be back to normal; I just hope I don't have to go at work. I hate using public restrooms for the deuce. The diet hasn't been that spectacular either, but I'm at least cooking my own food. I had a big weekend of cooking, and now I don't have to worry about fast fooding it (yeah I verbed another noun). I actually enjoy cooking, but it's time consuming, and I have so much other crap to catch up on during the weekends. My laundry is towering for example, and I haven't had a chance to go to the movies in several weeks. That's almost criminal in my book.

I barely made it to class today. It's still not getting easier for me. I think I may be recovering faster, but that's not saying too much because I'm still so damn tired.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 36 (05/17/10)

302.6 lbs this morning. It always worries me when I have such a drastic weight drop. I know that any weight I might put back on will bum me out considerably. As easy as I took it on myself yesterday, it was that much harder today. Chris said that the workouts will eventually start feeling easier for me, but apparently that's some unforeseen day many years in the future. Today felt pretty awful. I went to bed around 2 a.m., and I didn't feel like opening my eyes this morning. I even considered sleeping late at making the noon class. I thought again because that never works out for me. I always get distracted, or I'll let thoughts creep into my head that will eventually talk me out of going to class. I made it through the class, and I was pouring sweat from my pores. I have to get ready for work now; I just hope I can stay awake there.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 35 (05/16/10)

No weigh in again. Took it really easy on myself and only did a couple hundred ab/back exercises. Good thing too because my back is hurting right now. Hopefully the light exercise will help work out these little kinks.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 34 (05/15/10)

306.6 lbs today. I'm not really surprised at that after the day of eating I had yesterday. Why can't I get my diet under control. I'm working so damn hard, but I'm sabotaging myself at the same time. Today was almost the reset day too. I stayed up late last night, and I didn't feel like getting up this morning. Black Sabbath's War Pigs woke me up, and I listened to the opening guitar riff. I just laid there and thought how cool it sounded, and I wished I could come up with something equally tough and cool sounding. Then I realized I was wasting time, and I got up to get ready for the gym. I did this mostly because I don't want to let Chris down; I should be doing this because I don't want to let me down. It feels good though when someone compliments you on a job well done, and I seem to be getting some accolades for working out so much. Now the weekend is here, and this is when my worst eating is done. I can't concentrate on just the bad. There's a solution here somewhere; I just haven't found it yet.

The Fat Man Diaries Day 33 (05/14/10)

Woke up to 306 lbs today. I don't understand how that can happen. I felt like I was going to be right around the 300 mark, but instead, this happens. I haven't been getting enough sleep, and each class I go to feels harder than the last. Yesterday I was confident that I'd make the 56 days, but today I'm starting to doubt myself. This is probably just another rough patch, but it feels so shitty. My muscles ache, I'm stressing out, and I'm still fat. I don't know what to do right now. My cousin told me to just think about where my weight would be if I wasn't working out everyday. She has a point, but it sure would be encouraging to see some good results.